


I'm Listening

by Vituperative_cupcakes



Category: Inside no. 9
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Phone Sex, voice fetish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-23 12:10:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3767680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vituperative_cupcakes/pseuds/Vituperative_cupcakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of the episode "Cold Comfort," Chloe calls back. Andy is ready this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Listening

The phone rang. Andy rolled over. The clock numbers glowed 3:45 in the dark.

A second ring. Maybe it was just the past few days weighing down on him, but the ring had an unpleasant metallic edge.

He picked the phone up and held it to his ear. Said nothing.

“Hi,” 'Chloe' breathed, “I’ve taken some tablets.”

Andy groaned, dragging his hand over his face. “you really are pathetic, you know that?”

A giggle at the other end of the phone. The voice dropped a few octaves and said, “you know, I hadn't expected you to survive that.”

“Yeah. Held a gun to my head and then broke down sobbing before he could pull the trigger. PTSD, and all that. I ended up holding my attempted murderer until the police came, rubbing his back. So thanks for that.”

A dry chuckle. “You're really good, you know that? I could tell right away.”

“Is that why you went after me instead of Liz?” Radio silence. “Is that why you went after Victoria before me?”

A long pause, maybe an intake of breath? Then: “you think you're good now. Wait until you've got twenty-seven years of service screaming in your ears.”

“As bad as it gets, I don't think I’ll ever stoop to tormenting my coworkers.”

“Really?” A demented giggle. “Poor Glen would disagree.”

“You know, it's not a bad idea to let off steam. I had to do it frequently when my sister died. You don't have to bottle it up until it spills.”

“Well that's easy for you, isn't it?” The voice was suddenly bitter. “You have one great tragedy you can build your life around. People look at you and they go ' _oh, he's lost his sister, let him vent._ ' but if you haven't had any noble tragedy, they look at you like—nobody makes a ' _sorry your whole life sucks_ ' condolence card, do they?”

Andy groaned and cast a bleary eye at the clock again. “Where are you?”

“Why, so you can turn me in again?”

“Is this going to be a regular occurrence?”

Silence.

Andy sighed. Well, then. If that was how it was going to be...

He reached down and, with a sound that must have been unmistakable, even on the other end of a mile of phone lines, unzipped his trousers.

“What was that?” The voice sounded just a tiny bit uncertain, which was what spurred Andy on.

“Go ahead, talk,” Andy said with practiced warmth, “I’m here for you.”

“Are you—”

“Go ahead and sing if you like, I’ll just be a minute.” With more determination than enthusiasm, Andy started moving his hand.

A slight intake of breath at the other end.

“I thought you were all ready to spill it out,” Andy said mockingly, taking heart. “What happened to Chloe? Put her on, I want to ask her how big her tits are.”

“So this is it, then, this is your revenge?” The voice had dropped an octave, and sounded mildly upset. Mmm.

“Let me tell you what's going to happen: I’m going to lay here and you're going to talk me off. It's not as if I haven't done it for you.”

“You most certainly have not!” The outrage in his voice thinned it out again.

“Want to bet? I heard you moaning on that first call, do you really expect me to believe it was your stomach?”

A pause, which Andy took advantage of to bring the receiver closer to his busy hand.

“I wasn't...” the voice had lowered, almost demure.

Andy grinned, and growled into the receiver, “you've been a bad girl, today, Chloe. I should go over there and shut your lying mouth myself.”

“Oh really?” The voice didn't sound certain anymore, not at all. “And how do you plan to do that?”

“Just go into a public place and undo my zip. The sound would bring you running.” Dear god, it was actually working. Andy closed his eyes, pinning the phone with his shoulder while he occupied his other hand with something more worthwhile. “You've got such a big mouth, I bet you wouldn't be able to resist.”

An intake of breath. “I’ll...I’ll do worse. I'll send all manner of people to where you—”

“Tell me something Chloe,” Andy growled in his lower register, “tell me why they would believe a lying _slut_ like you.”

The breath on the other end of the line was becoming all fluttery and fast. “You...can't talk to me like...that.” The other voice had climbed higher in pitch, becoming breathier. Andy rolled his head back, relishing in the submissive note in it.

“Chloe babe?”

“...yes?”

“Sing to me.”

“...what do you want?”

Andy grinned, hand slowing as he considered his options. “I suppose American pie would be too long.”

A snort, as if someone caught off guard by a joke.

“D'you know ' _Temptation_ '?”

“Heaven 17?”

“That's my girl.”

A few shaky breaths. Andy wondered if he might not just hang up.

Then a voice, not entirely masculine or feminine, shakily singing: “you...you've got to make me an offer that cannot be ignored...so let's head for home now—”

Andy rolled his head back and let out a gush of air. The voice took a deep, shaky breath.

“E-everything I have is...yours. Step by step, day by day, every second counts—”

“—bit louder, love, let me hear you—”

“—c-counts, uh, I can't break away—”

“—don't you dare—”

“Leave no trace.”

“That's it.”

“Hide your face.”

“That's it.”

“All I desire... _temptation_.” George drew a ragged breath and finished sounding like himself.

Andy palmed himself for a few quick strokes and then he was spending himself on the sheets. He let the phone slide loose from its perch as he sprawled out on the bed. He hadn’t even bothered to kick open the covers when he'd laid down earlier, for which he was suddenly grateful. A small eternity passed where he was blissfully unsure of where he was or even what was happening.

“Andy?” The voice was tentative. Andy picked the phone up, breathing with an ease he hadn't felt in a long time.

“Speaking.”

A silence followed, so deep Andy wasn't sure whether George would say anything again.

“...same time tomorrow night?”

Andy laughed a little.

“I'm here for you.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> yes, yes, yes, I totally wrote smut for an anthology series. blame Shearsmith and Pemberton, if they didn't have such fantastic UST I wouldn't be doing this.


End file.
